psa for boys
Here is some advice for boys who want to date girls: Ask girls out on dates.
We rarely say no to a first date when the asking is done properly.
And if you want to ask properly, you just have to follow a few simple rules.
First, use the telephone. Texts, email, gchat, etc. are all too informal and, honestly, a little wimpy. I suppose asking in person is fine, but this makes everyone a little anxious. The phone is better because it shows you were thinking of your girl even when she’s not around.
Second, use this simple formula:
A [I was wondering if you would like to]
B [ have dinner]
C [with me]
D [at Gemma]
E [on Tuesday night]?
Part A - You must pose the question in an interested and hopeful manner. Possible substitutions include [I was hoping you would like to] and [I would like it if you would].
Part B - The possibilities are endless. Just make sure that you have a destination and activity in mind. The activity should be something that both you and she will enjoy and should be conducive to conversation. First dates should rarely involve sitting in silence, so movies and theater are best saved for later dates when maybe she’ll let you hold her hand. Possible substitutions include [have drinks], [go out for coffee], [eat pie], [go on a picnic], [go for a walk], [go see an exhibit], [tango]. Never say [hang out], [do something], etc.
Part C - You must say it these words. This lets the girl know that this is a date. This is not a group activity, and she will be spending time with you alone There are no substitutions.
Part D - Having a specific plan is thoughtful, and it shows that you are serious about wanting to spend time with the girl. You should, however, be flexible. If, for example, you suggest going out for sushi, but the girl explains that she is allergic to rice, you may want to use a backup plan. Possible substitutions include [at Verlaine], [at Joe’s Coffee], [in Central Park].
Part E - Having a specific day in mind helps to ensure that you will make solid plans with the girl. If, for example, you ask to have dinner [next week some time], you run the risk of pushing the plan-making process to a later date. You should be flexible, but offering a specific day will give a starting point. Possible substitutions include [on the 3rd], [this weekend].
After the girl has, no doubt, said yes. You can work out details such as time and where you will meet.
When in doubt about what to say to a girl you want to date, pretend you are asking out a girl on a 1950’s television program. You will appear thoughtful and endearing. And it is ok to be nervous! That quiver in your voice is charming. Take pity points when you can get them.
Best of luck.