drinking and dating

I keep hoping he just won’t call. I can’t believe I’m already having dating burnout, but I just really really want to put on my pyjamas and stay home.

My phone rings as I’m unlocking the door to my apartment. Of course.

I don’t change clothes. Instead of doing something to my hair, I just re-ponytail it. I make sure I don’t have smudges under my eyes and put on some lip gloss. Done. That’s all I care.

He wants to get coffee, and we end up at a Starbucks. Lame.

I hate dating because I’m so tired of drinking things. In my non-dating life, almost all I ever drink is water. Would it be rude to order water on a date? I can’t do coffee. I grab a bottle of some juice blend. He orders a something-iato something-accino something something Starbucks concoction. With whipped cream. Super lame.

Add to the ever-growing list: I want to date a boy who drinks his coffee like a man.

I should have just gotten some water. I pay because I have a gift card. Super-duper lame.

“I guess I’ll get the first round later.”

Does he really expect me to go somewhere else and drink more things? Not gonna happen.

There’s nowhere to sit, so we go sit in a park. It’s cold. I hate this juice. I hate dating. This is going poorly, and it’s my fault.

We walk around a little. He should have had a plan.

I just want to go home.

I say I don’t feel good. It’s sort of true. I mostly just want to go home. And I really was sick earlier in the week.

We part ways. I go to the grocery store, then home to cook dinner for myself.

It is delicious.


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Kate said...

Hey, Beatrix (and Harper) -

I found your blog through Logan, and I just wanted to tell you how much fun I'm having following along. You're practically narrating my life story. The number of beverages I've gone through in the past six months...!

Keep writing; this is great stuff.

Anonymous said...

lol "something-iato something-accino something something" I never understood peoples need to spend more for all that fancy crap. Of course I'm one of those stubborn people that still orders a 'large coffee' knowing very well that they don't call them larges.

At least you had a good dinner!


Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

Dude, he called you last minute, took you to Starbucks, and then had YOU pay? Sounds like a date I'D go on! Ugh!

just me said...

A guy who orders a frilly coffee WITH WHIPPED CREAM?

Danger. Abort. Abort.

harper & beatrix said...

so these last two dates have not been shining moments.

and i paid because i was already feeling guilty. it made me feel better about just going home.


Mr London Street said...

I bet the frilly coffee/lamely sitting in a park shebang wouldn't have been a problem if he'd been hot and interesting.

harper & beatrix said...

catch-22, mr. london street:

if he'd been hot and interesting, he'd have never taken me to starbucks.


Miss Scorpio said...

Oh my dear! Sounds like you need a "mancation." Take a little me time. Figure out what you want and simply spoil yourself in the process.

As to the coffee, my boy is always telling me real men drink their coffee black. Now looking back at the others, I've dated I think it holds true. You can judge a man by what he drinks.

MusicLover647 said...

I don't drink my coffee black. I don't drink the frilly crap either. I hate going to Starbucks because they ask you a million different questions just to get a cup of coffee. In general I'm kind of a dick and even more ornery in the morning before coffee and the last thing I need is some douchebag peppering me with irrelevant meaningless garbage for my daily fix of caffeine and then charging a ridiculous price for it. Can you imagine a Heroin dealer asking so many questions to his addicts? I prefer Dunkin Donuts coffee anyway.

Anonymous said...

One of the things i hate about dating is all the calories I consume.
I also just hate dating in general...Can we please just skip through the "get to know you" crap and just start pretending like we're super comforable with each other and actually be ourselves rather than some dolled up version of who we really are?

Mr London Street said...

It does seem an interesting place for a first date but then back when I was in the dating game my aim was always to head straight for a pub. That way if the jokes didn't work the beer might.

LiLu said...

"Done. That’s all I care."

This is a really powerful sentence. Every woman knows EXACTLY what you mean.

And he SHOULD have had a plan. Next!

harper & beatrix said...

miss scorpio, i did take a mancation (or as we call it around here, a boy fast). this is me trying to start back dating. i was trying to branch out a little and go out with a guy who was not my type but seemed genuine and easy-going. ugh.


Miss Scorpio said...

I understand, honey. I took a year long "mancation" before I started dating again. But every now and then before The Thinker, I'd take a week or two to myself if I had lost sight of what I wanted or if the boys I had went out with were just that miserable.

The Smarter Princess said...

I got burnt out on the whole dating thing too. And I never thought about it in the drinking sense, but it seems like every first date involves drinking something!

Years and years ago a boy that I dated left me a voicemail asking me out for the first time and said “Just wondering if you’d like to go out with me sometime. We can get a glass of wine, or beer, or coffee or tea, or any beverage of your choice…”

Too funny.