my perfect match

Match.com, you’re crazy.

We share culinary interests and find skinny-dipping a turn-on. (Do I?)

We both enjoy gardening and landscaping. (Did I really check that I like these things?)

But he’s wearing no shirt, clutching the underpants that are sticking out of his jeans, lives in the Bronx, and has kids.

As for his favorite hot spots, he says, “i’ll take her to apple bees or oliver garden or wherever she want to go.”


I’m pretty sure I do not need the internet to help me get boys like this.


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MusicLover647 said...

You are now on my blogroll. :)

Libërty said...

this was hilarious.

So@24 said...

Wait. ... This isn't for real, right?

harper & beatrix said...

totally, 100% for real. i'm really not funny; i can't make this stuff up.

match has a new thing where they give you 5 matches per day, and they all suck. i don't know if it is some kind of attempt to get people to look at the crappy profiles, or what.


GreenCanary said...

"Oliver Garden." *snort* PLEASE go on a date with this guy. The blog fodder would be SO WORTH IT!

Harper said...

I have a Match.com ID that I've never activated, but they still send me matches. Last week they sent me a hot professor who wants to travel the far east and loves going to brunch.

It's a trick, I know it. Once I sign up and start paying it'll be nothing but the shirtless wonders.

The Smarter Princess said...

The daily 5 is such a crock!

I pretty much clicked the “hell no” button for each and every recommendation.

You both like dogs and you’re night owls? Clearly you are destined to be together! Ah, yes computer brain. I am so glad I pay you to do the dirty sleuthing work for me. High five.