just busy, being a baller

I got up and dragged the bottom of my bag. I stacked up the quarters in fours. $7.75. Paying with change makes buying things feel free, because it’s like using money you already spent. Kind of like recycling. Anyway, the only cash I had left after buying beer the night before was $100 bills. And sometimes being such a baller is just embarrassing.

I put on some pants and a jacket, so I didn’t have to worry about a bra, and popped downstairs for a bagel.

Miguel was there, so it came with a free side of self-confidence.

Miguel taught me the second-best pickup line ever a few months ago when, after weeks of the other guys refusing to wait on me, he’d finally started talking while he rang me up:

“Can I ask you a question?”
“Okay.”
“What is your name?”
“Beatrix.”
“Beatrix. Can I ask you another question?”
“Sure.”
“Can I see you. . . in my dreams?”

This morning, they are busy, and all he says is, “Beatrix. Good to see you,” with a shy smile.

I decide to break a rule. I have the budget for it. I’ve broken all my other rules, so why not? I ate cake twice at work, not even counting during lunch, even though I was trying to stop being such a fatty and eat real breakfast and healthy snacks. And I hooked up with Simon even though I’m trying to stop being such a slut and maybe get myself into a real relationship. So I order a cup of coffee. I hadn’t had any for five weeks, and who cares about heart palpitations and flutters anyway?

Saturday morning with a bagel and a cup of coffee and 30 Rock on internet tv is my favorite part of the week.

Later Pete calls me from a beach in Hawaii where he’s hanging out with a bunch of sea turtles whose names I can’t remember. We talk about his trip and how to avoid shark attacks and clichés in online dating profiles.

Cooper sent me link for a free week on Match on Friday. If he’d sent it on Wednesday, before I started all the rule breaking, I would have been excited. But I tell Pete I’m not so sure about it now that I’ve broken all the rules, that I’ll decide on Monday.

He thinks we should pick out someone for each other and go on a double date. I agree.

But I’ll decide on Monday. The day after Some Day.


~beatrix