this end of things

I just wanted to watch a pasta factory on Unwrapped, but I told him he could change the channel. Dancing with the Stars. Then I just wanted to watch that. But of course he started kissing me. And he took off my shirt.

My bathtub is really, truly broken. The super won’t call me back. I needed a proper shower rather desperately, and Sandeep lives so close.

I’m not sure if I’m using him for his shower.

I think he might be using me, too. I want to be still. I want to talk.

I ask him if he’s kissing me so I’ll be quiet. He says I can talk, but it’s hard when he’s shoving his tongue in my mouth.

“I want to have sex with you.”

It’s a sentiment I can appreciate. But I just keep getting the feeling he doesn’t want to get to know me. That he doesn’t care so much about having me around as having someone around. I keep my pants on.

I don’t want to be on this end of things.


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Tigerlily said...

"That he doesn’t care so much about having me around as having someone around."

I understand that sentiment completely.

From both sides.

MusicLover647 said...

We are all characters in our own version of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" chasing after someone else...

But I'm not a bloody fairy.....even though I'm originally from India...

"Fairies have come from India to bless Theseus’ wedding and are haunting the same wood where the craftsmen and lovers plan to meet."


Logan Lo said...

Don't do it - you should wait until you find the guy you want to be with, not the guy that happens to be around.

harper & beatrix said...

logan, i'm not going to. clearly.

the way he says it is just so strange and conversational. like, "i'm going to have some orange juice. would you like some?" "i think we should have sex tonight."