If you want to be my boyfriend, there are a few things you should probably know. Like I will flip out if you touch the bottoms of your shoes. For most of my teenage years I’d listen to Sheryl Crow’s “Strong Enough” on repeat whenever I was lonely or sad about a boy, and I still think it’s possibly the best relationship advice a boy can find. I will say, “Look, I made you a present,” and I’ll give you a picture I drew of something like a cupcake in a mirage with tumbleweeds blowing by on what is essentially a piece of trash, but you should pretend you like it. Sometimes I’ll break down on Friday nights for no reason.
And sometimes, panicked, I’ll ask you,
“Is tomorrow Thursday?”
I might even wake you up to ask you.
And you’ll say,
“Well, yesterday was Tuesday, and today is Wednesday. So, yes, that means tomorrow should be Thursday.”
Because you are patient. And all-around lovely.
You won’t ask questions. And it wouldn’t matter because I’ll already be asleep. So you’ll just hold me for a little, thinking about how lucky you are.