validation

I know I like attention. That’s why I’m writing this in the first place. I want you to read this and think about how talented and clever I am, and how, even though you’ve never seen me, you’re sure I’m pretty.

I like attention from boys. I shouldn’t use it to validate myself; I know that.

But if I know that, why am I talking to Brian?

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“Thanks. You, too. Any fun plans?”
“Not today, tomorrow. You?”
“No plans. And no boys, really.”
“Really. I find that hard to believe.”
“I’m simplifying.”
“Down to just one boy.”
“No. Down to none, maybe. There’s just one boy I need to talk to.”
“Is it me?”
“What would I need to talk to you about?”
“I don’t know.”
“You are confusing.”
“Sorry.”

Brian doesn’t live here. I’ve known him since we were 14. And he got married in October. And he didn’t tell me; I had to ask him about it (twice) after he changed his relationship status on Facebook.

Seriously. I’m simplifying.


~beatrix