30.5.09

the tale of the magic hat


Pete told me that his friend, a voiceover artist, decided to experiment. He put on a British accent, went out to a bar, and within minutes was having sex against a wall by the bathroom. Pete wishes he had a better accent.

I don’t generally need a gimmick to meet boys, but I discovered a rather effective one quite by accident.

Back when I was still with David, Harper came to visit, and Prince Charming threw a party. I got there a little late, and was happy to see Harper. I gave her a hug, and she handed me a bottle of champagne before going to the bathroom. I didn’t know the girls she’d been talking to, but I took a sip from the champagne and introduced myself.

They stared at me with open mouths.

Finally one of them said, “You just drank. . . out of the bottle.”

Not seeing a problem here, all I could think to say was, “Yeah, but Harper won’t mind.”

So my amazing gimmick isn’t getting very very drunk, but the fact is that I was. And I when we all went out, I left Prince Charming’s apartment wearing a dress, knee boots, and his Detroit Tigers baseball cap.

And I met every boy on Spring Street.

It was incredible. I met boys in bars and on the sidewalk and boys in passing cars. I didn’t have to do a thing, because this gross hat started my conversations for me.

It’s an approach I’ve been meaning to try again, just to see if I can replicate the results.


~beatrix


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3 comments:

Mr London Street said...

Why did I waste all those years with my impeccable English accent living in England. It's just not on.

Libërty said...

Exactly Mr. Londyn. Exactly.

I was reading this thinking at first that drinking out of the bottle was the trick that had done it, and it turns out it was the hat...that's cool.

I don't think it's just the English accent. I think it's just accents in general. In English, I like Aussie accents, Irish accents, Scottish accents...in Spanish I like just about any accent that isn't my own. So I think it just depends. There are very accents that I actually straight up will NOT like.

Elwood said...

I once owned a The Darkness t-shirt and always got people talking to me when I went out. I ended up getting stopped by 3 Irish girls one late night. We all ended up becoming friends, but that's besides the point. Sometimes an article of clothing is all it takes, haha.