it's like insurance

A good boyfriend will do your dishes while you rearrange everything you own into a container the size of an overhead compartment one more time. He’ll ask if you need help when you are standing on your suitcase trying to get it closed. That’s when you should apologize for the toffee you cooked in that pot.

And a good boyfriend will ignore his boycott of rolling suitcases to carry yours down the stairs. You can bring the trash because that’s not as heavy.

Then the good boyfriend will get concerned that you are going to try to bring this suitcase to work with you on the subway, because, don’t forget, there are stairs. You’ll say that, well, that’s what you’re gonna do unless he wants to drive you to work. And he will, even though it’s a little out of the way.

And since he’s such a good boyfriend, you’ll tell him, “Ugh. . . You are the best boyfriend ever.”

And since he doesn’t know he is such a good boyfriend, he’ll say, “Ha. You better remember this for sometime when things aren’t so good.”

You probably should.

~beatrix