is nothing sacred anymore?

I had the best idea. Me and the boy could get civil unioned and then we could share insurance without having to get married for boring, practical reasons. Getting courthouse married would also mean either keeping it a secret from our parents or making them really angry at us for ruining the fun party part of it. And we could still get married later and get presents. And it just makes sense as I’m pretty sure we are civil unioned in practice.

As a special bonus, civil unions in New York are a bargain-- only $35.

I am brilliant. Brilliant.


The boy’s work doesn’t count civil unions unless they are between same-sex couples. So one of us would have to have a sex change to make it work and that probably costs more than insurance and I wonder if his insurance covers that because then it would have to be him and I’m not really sexually attracted to women (it’s this catch-22 situation I can elaborate upon later) and I don’t think he’d agree to it anyway. . . .

So at any rate, we can’t share insurance because we are straight.

(I mean, please don’t think I’m some awful person. I realize we have the right to get married which is cool, and I think we all deserve that. But right now I’m just pretty sure that we all deserve the rights that come from marriages or civil unions because that would mean that my plan had not been totally thwarted.)



Gin for Dinner said...

I really, really hope there are going to be more posts with the tag "why i'm not a lesbian."

charlemagne said...

i must confess--i fell into the trap (and we all know it's such a trap) of reading the weddings section of the ny times, and raced over here after reading this one, wondering if it was you: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/27/fashion/weddings/27WARD.html?_r=1&ref=weddings
but i guess not.
if it's worth anything, my dude and i are going to get married on the *quick* once his health insurance kicks in. granted, we're already engaged and all, but still. such is life in the modern age.

harper & beatrix said...

that wedding announcement is (not us and is) so funny!

lucy ward and matthew stroup, i would like to invite you guys over for dinner if you ever google yourselves and find this.


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