We had sex three times then wrote some wedding vows not quite on purpose:
I, Beatrix, take you, Ted, to have and to hold and all of that even if you get fat from all the snacks. I love you more than eating. . . Um. . . I love you almost as much as eating. . . but it’s very close. Also, I promise to try to remember to clean the hair out of the shower drain as long as you try to remember to trim your mustache before it gets long enough to get in my mouth when I kiss you. And you know, I’ll forsake all others. . . unless Natalie Portman agrees to that thing we talked about. So I generally take you for better or worse and richer and poorer, though let’s aim up and not down, ok? Forever and ever.